Frank was saved, handsome, successful, available and articulate – all the things Lisa wanted in a man. As they IM’d each other online, Frank avowed instant love for her, alleging that God had "spoken" to him, and that she was to be his wife. Lisa, a loving, caring, sweetly saved sister in her mid 40’s (never married and no children), was all in. Soon, however, what started as 20-30 IM’s a day, dropped off sharply to 2-3 contacts a week, with 2 of those 3 being initiated by Lisa. Sadly, the blunt truth was that Frank was a predator wolf in sheep's clothing attempting to take advantage of a sincere sister. Lisa had previously been a victim of violent rape by a minister, and was hardly in a condition to be emotionally abused. She enlisted my counsel concerning this online lethario.

Should you or someone you know find yourself in a similar situation, follow these simple rules of the internet road to avoid head-on collisions with danger, disaster and disappointment:

1. If it sounds too good to be true – it is. If he’s all that, why is he still available? Flattery will fool you into thinking you’re “special.” Romans 16:18 says “By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.” While you are special, a stranger isn’t generally going to know that at first blush, but will use it as a tool to get you to drop your guard. Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
2. Why you, out of all the hundreds/thousands of people he could chat with?  You may have the scent of vulnerability and or weakness only a predator can detect.
3. If he said God “spoke” to him, what did God say specifically? If God said it, the man should be expected to remember it.
4. What did God say to you? He works on both ends, and won’t blind side you.
5. Make no decisions until you hear from God, who confirms His will, "Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses." 2 Corinthians 13:1.
6. Get opinions from those you trust. Proverbs 11:14 says "In the multitude of counsel there is safety. "
7. Is he open, transparent, and willing to talk about his past, failures, marriages, divorces, and/or children?
8. Don't check in your discernment - or your brains - at the door.
9. Be cautious and careful for nothing. Check EVERYTHING. If he's gonna bristle and get testy, better to see it now than later - when it may be too late.
10. If he’s not worth the price of a background check – he’s not worth it.